Some people who read my post, say they still didn't understand "Why The Mask?"
While being plagued by Non Hodgkins B cell Lymphoma, My Immune system has been fighting hard to fight the cancer cells in my body. I am stage 4, and that's not good news. I have been researching why all these nasty things are happening, and to my dismay I am finding much more understandable information from the UK. Why not here in the USA? My face has been through hell, and trying to come back to normal is something I continuously hope for. It's not pretty, I am so distorted, it has been difficult to look in the mirror. So why scare my friends and family with it? The picture of me in the silver mask, was the last public photo I have posted. I asked my Photographer friend Gillianne Fields Photography if she could do her magic with me before I was totally unable to show my face at all. And this wonderful shot was the result. My face and my eyes and my mouth has suffered like it's been through a war zone and now showing on other body parts is not a good sign.
My vision is struggling, and my digestive system is not active, and my lungs are weakening. Signs of stage 4 cancer. When I found the answers I was looking for about my illness, and how would it look near the end...
...I was petrified. I literally at that moment in time felt an out of body experience of a 4th kind. And things went downhill from there. I ended up. with 86% oxygen level, and blood pressure was through the roof. I was dizzy and called 911. What I thought was a simple panic attack, wasn't! To my surprise my neck was swelling, and trying to choke me. I went through 3 breathing treatments within an hour. And strong meds that wouldn't allow me to sleep for 2 days. Well, I finally got some well needed sleep last night. Feeling better, but my blood pressure is still high.
Why is it when you need a doctor, it's the weekend???? hahaha OR they won't have an available appointment for a month or 3.
REALLY???? (blog on how I perceive our health care compared to other countries, Coming soon)
So that's why the mask, and why I can't do live video sessions like I promised. I hate breaking a promise. One of my worst pet peeves. But this is a life lesson. There are things in life that are uncontrollable. And if you plan for the uncontrollable things, like for example....
Lead a healthy life
Eat your veggies
Take your vitamins
DO NOT SMOKE!
Eat Healthy even if you have to TRAIN YOURSELF to like stuff your body needs.
REMEMBER THIS: What ever you beat your body up with when your young, will haunt you when your too old to do anything bout it.
CANCER SUX! GROWING OLD SUX! BEING ALONE SUX! NOT BEING UNDERSTOOD SUX!!!
So lesson for today, Don't allow your life or anyone else's life to SUK!
Don't Ever ASSume you know what someone else might be going through.
Treat Others the way you want to be treated.
And MOST OF ALL...
Cherish your Elders, they made it possible for you to experience this thing we call LIFE! It seems that life is way to difficult for this younger generation to take care of their parents because life has gotten ridiculous for them. I know we all never wanted to listen to our parents growing up, but we listened and we learned from our mistakes. I for todays generation will be very lonely when they are old and may be eliminated all together for just nearly having a food shortage! My generation and generations before me always took care of they elders in the family. I don't see that happening in todays world. I know there will be some, but the percentage is really bad. I will end this on a pathetic note, "OLD PEOPLE LIVES MATTER TOO!"
I am sorry you are going through this. I know what the same disease did to my brother. I hope something can be found that helps you.
It is very appreciated to see comments from people after pouring out my life... I know it's not pretty to read about sad things, which is why I have Art in my soul. It keeps me grounded to my heart and soul. I hope I can touch your heart and soul in a good way. Thanx for visiting....Much Love & Respect